Pink Goats and all that Jazz
by Anniepopokios
Summary: After meeting a special Pink goat, Haku and Zabuza get one wish granted! However this wish gets them sent to a very dark room and then, what happens? THEY ADOPT DOSU! Like insanity? Just read the story… and what's with the violin music and the camera!


**Annie:**

This is the famed author note that I always write huggles author note anyway I love writing comedy stories, they're such a blast and I love my little Zabuza and Haku so read for them! Anyway I don't want to say much about this story, I just want you to read it because that's what you're here to do right? Anyway this story will be extremely insane because that's what I'm famous for! not really but who knew! so I hope you enjoy it and yes… I had to pair Haku and Zabuza… that was odd but oh well read it anyways! And reviews are always nice. This is based off a funny idea that I came up with a while back I just haven't had the chance to type it out! SO HERE YOU GO! Give this story a chance because it will seriously be really funny! happy reading!

**Pink goats and all that Jazz**

**Summary:**

After meeting a "special" Pink goat, Haku and Zabuza get one wish granted! However this wish gets them sent to a very dark room and then, what happens? THEY ADOPT DOSU! Like insanity? Just read the story… and what's with the violin music and the camera!

**Chapter one**

**Pink goats and all that Jazz**

Haku skipped down the road to the mist village, humming a tune to himself. He'd been out gathering herbs and now he was headed home! However, the happy day was coming to an end, rain clouds gathering in the sky. He let out a sigh of dismay and continued, hoping he wouldn't get wet. Suddenly his skip came to a stop, a strange noise filling his ears. It almost sounded like a dog of some sort except maybe one that was being choked? He had no idea what could make such a horrible screeching noise but whatever it was he wanted it to stop so he decided that whatever it was maybe it would shut up if he asked nicely!

**Haku: **Hello?" peers into dark alley where noise is coming from.

**Strange voice: **Come closer… (Haku walks farther into the shadowy alley)

**Haku: **Hello? (suddenly feels very afraid)

SUDDENLY A BIG PINK FUZZ BALL JUMPS OUT OF THE DARKNESS!

**Haku: **0o AHHHHH!

Pink Fuzz Ball: c(lears throat) do not fear fair maiden, I am a magical goat!

Haku: I'm a girl.

Goat: 0.o ehhhh! I mean (clears throat again and pulls a big magicy wand out of nowhere in particular) I AM A GOAT!

Haku: (rolls eyes) okay so what's so special about a stupid goat?

Goat: **WHAT! YOU DARE INSULT ME! WHY I SHOULD TURN YOU INTO A FROG FOR USING SUCH WORDS!**

Haku: EKK! (Begs on knees) I'm so sorry Mr. Goat sir!

Goat: I'm not a sir, and further more you will call me ma'am.

Haku: Yes sir

Goat: MA'AM! (voice echoes all the way to a big snowy mountain and causes an avalanche)

Haku: - Yes ma'am!

Goat: Very good now do you know what I can do?

Haku: um….. make…. Cheese?

Goat: voice is all thundery again NO FOOL! Look at my wings (points to little fluttery wings on back) look at my wand (points to little prettiful wand) I am a magical goat and I can grant wishes!

Haku: (drools) like a genie!

Goat: yes like a genie (rolls eyes) imbeciles. /.

Haku: So you could like grant me a wish right?

Goat: Yes that's what I'm saying.

Haku: cool! Suddenly I feel very special! (huggles self)

Goat: do you take medications kid?

Haku: No why?

Goat: well maybe that's what you should wish for.

Haku: that's stupid, why would I wish for……… HEY!

Goat: (snickers) you really aren't the brightest crayon in the box are you!

Haku: I'm not a crayon!

Goat: (stares at dumbly) riiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttt

Haku: puts hands on hips in a very girly fashion which is creepy because he already looked like a girl )are you gonna grant me a wish or not?

Goat: why should I?

Haku: because I'm cute and nobody can resist me! CHAA!

Goat:T T says who?

Haku: (blank stare) Zabuza-san. ah the memories……..

Goat: (shakes head )I always find the mentals. Okay I shall grant you one wish, what do you want?

Haku: ummmmmm………… ummmmmm…… (days pass by and Haku still ponders, and then another day and another day and another day and then another day and then a leap year and we better stop or else everybody will die from old age!)

Goat: (sleeping and snoring quite loudly)

Haku: I'VE GOT IT!

Goat: (Haku's sudden out burst wakes the goat from her sleep she and she jumps awake.) I DID NOT STEAL 40 POUNDS OF SALT WATER TAFFY! YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING! IT'S IN THE SHEEPS JACKETS! THE WOOL IS PURPLE! AH! Wait…. (looks at Haku as realizes that the horror of the purple sheep and taffy was all just a dream )Not you again, you figure out your wish?

Haku: Uh huh! (believe me is idea is so genius the Harvard scientists could just hire that kid and they might be happy! I'm dead serious… seriously why do you doubt me? WHY! Grrrrrrrrrrr! Stop staring at me!)

Goat: So what is it?

Haku: (clears throat, now remember that I told you this was genius so everybody clap your hands when he finishes the sentence! I wish that me and Zabuza-san could go somewhere where we could adopt a nice kiddie and we could finally be one big happy family! huggles self again, goat rolls eyes so we could spread the LOVE! Clapping comes out of nowhere, I told you to clap didn't I?)

Haku: o0 Make the clapping stop! (whimpers)

Goat: (walks over to trash can and rolls it over, groups of clapping roaches are sitting on The ground!) GO AWAY! (Roaches grumble and scurry into another trash can, clapping ceases) Alright now are you sure that is you're wish ? inner thoughts: I wonder who hit that kid and how hard

Haku: (big wide toothy grin) YEPPERS! That would be wonderful Mr. Goat!

Goat: MA'AM! (Voice is so loud that it can be heard for miles and makes babies cry).

Haku: AHH! MA'AM! 0.O

Goat: That's more like it, now I shall grant your… uh weird wish! (waves wand and suddenly a big puff of sparkly magic thingies cover the screen, yes I'm not kidding and then all is dark.)

Haku: (Wakes up in dark room )Where am I? (sits up and looks around)

Zabuza (yes he is here): where am I! (Voice is almost as loud as the strange goat that has now seemed to disappear.)

Haku:( forgets the fact that he is in some unknown dark void in which he could never see the light again and be there forever to rot in darkness and all that jazzy blah blah blah.) ZABUZA-SAN (Sasuke fan girl scream and huggles Zabuza)

Zabuza: (does not like being so insanely close to another guy )Uh… Haku please let go.

Haku: (puppy dog eyes) but Zabuza-san!

Zabuza: OFF! (Haku lets go and then sulks a few feet and sits on the ground sadly, a little black rain cloud gathers over his head. Zabuza is such a criminal eh?)

Haku: (sniffles) fine…. (sniffles again), It makes me cry, what! (Yes please give me a tissue)

Zabuza: TT Don't be such a baby.

Haku: (more sniffling) I am not a baby! You're a MEANIE! GASP!

Zabuza: (rolls eyes; suddenly a big flashy light thing appears over his head with a big arrow pointing at him. The flashy lights read: big meanie criminal that is so ugly that babies cry and makes other people cry who also make others cry because they are crying so they are sad so they cry a lot and pretty much the world is flooded in every bodies tears and all that Jazz. Also a Zabuza/ Haku fan girl slasher and a disappointer of yaoi fan girls who want him to stop being so mean but it doesn't work because he is in fact a bad person who is mean and yes, eats the heads of the animal crackers and throws the bodies in the trash can so not even the poor little baby mice can eat them so they starve and then the cats starve because there are no mice and then the dogs die of boredom because there are no cats to chase and so on and so on and pretty soon no body is left and its all Zabuza's FAULT! And wow that was a mouth full, how does that sign stay up there anyway?)

Haku: Bright lights…..0o eyes burn……..burning eyes…. Xx lights…..bright….burn…. eyes…..hurt…..burn…. hurt…. Bright… (yes the lights coming form that sign are blinding)

Zabuza: T.T what ever, let's try to find a way to get out of here.

Haku: YOU BROKE MY HEART AND ALL YOU WANT TO THINK ABOUT IS GETTING OUT OF HERE!( Sad violin music plays in background) I thought that I could be happy and that we could be one nice big family and be friends forever but even that was too much to ask! I couldn't even grasp the smallest little bit of ecstasy for all I receive is pain and suffering and regret! Oh how my hearts longs to stop enduring such torment, OH the WOE AND MISERY! (More violin music)

Zabuza: 0o where's that music coming from? (looks around dark room as music continues)

Haku: (sniffles) GET THAT CAMERA AWAY FROM ME!

Camera man: DANGIT! That movie would have been amazing!

Zabuza: (takes camera and smashes it into the ground )STUPID CAMERA!

Camera man: #o# MY CAMERA! (morns camera) NOOOOO! I had it since it was just a little tape recorder! (sniffles)

Zabuza: -.. - Oh great I'm stuck on Emo farm now!

Haku: (points accusing finger )BE QUIET! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU SHATTER PEOPLES DREAMS!

Zabuza: Says who! (suddenly another big flashy sign appears over Zabuza's head that reads: Man who shatters dreams TT)

Haku: And all I wanted was a kid!

Zabuza: WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE!

Haku: No I just cross dress! (huggles pink fluffy dress with lots of frilly girly thingies)" SPLEEEE!

Zabuza: (puts hand on head) I'm in hell………….

---

Annie: OH YEAH! That was the first chappie, kinda confusing eh? But it shall get funnier still! What's next! Will Haku's wish ever get granted and will they ever escape this new black room? Will that stupid violin ever stop playing and is the poor camera really dead! Find out in the next chapter of PINK GOATS AND ALL THAT JAZZ! IT GOT RID OF MY ALL LITTLE MARKS AND STUFF SO I HAD TO FIX IT ND ITS STILL CONFUSING! DANGIT!

Haku: I don't like violin music

Zabuza: pokes with stick Shut up!


End file.
